The Hungry Poet: My Life in Food — Going for a Greggs with Seamus Heaney

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‘Your ordinariness was renewed there’ wrote Seamus Heaney in his love poem ‘Night Drive’ as he recounts driving through France and thinking of his wife. Heaney was someone whose poetry revelled in finding the extraordinary in the ordinary; he even coined the phrase ‘universal ordinariness’, referring to the common experiences we all go through in life, no matter who we are or where we are. I love this idea and can’t help but feel that eating, or our daily bread, is a great example of our universal ordinariness. We all need to eat, whether we are prince or pauper. And every now and again, we also can do with a little treat. For some this is a fancy coffee, for some it might be buying some clothes, some vinyl, for some it might be going to a spa, but at my stage in life, with my budget, and usually with children in tow, I can’t think of a treat with higher status than a bacon sandwich and a cup of (decaffeinated coffee) from Greggs. I realise that The marriage of the salty bacon and the HP sauce with the slightly crusty bap, and then the sweetness of the foamed milk, and bitter coffee from the hot cardboard cup, usually eaten in the car, or on a bench in the precinct, or if we’re lucky at one of the few tables at the Greggs in Didcot. 

I’ve been wondering whether I should rename this book as ‘Guilty Pleasures’ or ‘Philistine Food Diaries’ as I seem to write about quite low brow food topics, quite often (see chocolate bourbons, Pot Noodles etc) particularly ones with UPFs in them, to the extent that I’m slightly concerned some might start seeing me as a champion of UPFs – which I’m not, by the way. In fact, the more I write the more I’m starting to wonder about the danger of UPFs considering I seem to eat them quite regularly and, well, as you can see, there’s nothing wrong with me...

Jokes aside, maybe we need to have a little bit more perspective when it comes to UPFs. Recently I read someone describing UPF as poison, but surely if it were poison then we’d all be lying about dead, no? Okay Okay, so it promotes obesity, and makes us eat more salty, sugary foods more regularly, and leads to a diet which can lead to diabetes, not to mention the other longer term impacts it might have on our health. I get all of this, and I try my best not to eat UPFs, but every now and again a little treat beckons, and more often than not, that treat happens to take the form of a UPF, and more often than not that UPF sweet treat is cheaper, much, much cheaper than its artisan equivalent. 

Enter Greggs.

I love going for a Greggs. I don’t do it all the time, as I don’t live near one, but who could resist a bacon sandwich (with a sauce of your choice) and a tea for under £4. The same at Costa Coffee would be £7.85. I could add on a salted caramel doughnut and a bag of four double chocolate cookies onto my Greggs order and still have made a saving, than if I’d gone to Costa. Also, the quality of the Greggs bacon roll and the tea is as good, if not better than the offering at Costa, plus it’s a British company so we’re supporting a homegrown business (even though the same could be said of Costa). The problem for Costa Coffee is that it hasn’t worked out how to make customers like myself not go to Greggs, and therefore Greggs (while having a slow year for growth in comparison to recent years) is still outperforming, and aiming for 3000 shops as part of a long term goal.  Greggs, in my view, at a time of high inflation, should be praised for keeping its prices low and affordable without really skimping on quality, while also supporting British suppliers. Whatever you think about Greggs, there isn’t really an outlet in the UK to match it. Ultimately, it’s got to be an efficiently run business and a really good idea. And no it’s not perfect; some of the shops aren’t the most salubrious (to put it lightly) and many of them don’t have seats (apart from the one in Didcot) and even when they do, they’re usually in a bad state or all taken due to demand. In the UK we need to champion affordable high quality food for everyone, and Greggs may not be perfect, but it’s a start, and more competition for it would be welcome, in driving up standards and keeping the prices low. 

In Northern France a couple of years ago, I was blown away by the quality of the ubiquitous Sophie Lebreuilly bakeries. And they were everywhere: in town squares, retail parks, roundabouts, occupying mini-warehouses at turnoffs at major road junctions. To have this kind of quality of baked goods (which, let’s face it, are made from whole foods) at decent prices is really where we need to be aiming for in the UK. What’s more, you could dine in, have lunch, pizza, dinner, there was table service, and even children's play areas in some. And the croissants were the best I had all week. In the UK, McDonalds rules the roost, and I’m sure those coming from France or Europe in general, while not strangers to the golden arches, might be taken aback by just how many there are here. 

If it’s time for a treat, I make no apology for going for a Greggs and taking the family with me. It’s better than going to McDonalds, and probably, relatively speaking, healthier, and more affordable, which when you’re paying for up to four people is important to consider, particularly in these straitened times. 

So, until Sophie Lebreuilly opens a branch in Abingdon (imagine!), make mine a bacon roll with HP sauce, a decaf latte, and a salted caramel doughnut, with a side of universal ordinariness.